Just kidding, it's not actually that bad. I've got maybe an hour before the headache kills me. Today was not a hell world day. It wasn't, like, the best day of my life but it was far from hell world.
INTERVIEW SWEEP!!!! INTERVIEW WIN!!!!! Remember the planetarium thing I mentioned yesterday? YEAH. The director's such a cool guy, I think. We only spoke for like fifteen minutes but oh man, his vibes were perfect. I think I might've stolen a book from him like two years ago. He's in charge of our local branch of the Astronomical League, from which I borrowed a library book that I never brought back (long story, the guilt still eats me from the inside at night, I did not commit this crime willingly I promise). It's a good book, at least. All about type 1-A supernovae can be used to determine distances in intergalactic space. Sick! But yeah who knows maybe I'll get a chance to give it back. Maybe I'm not going to hell after all. Sick!
Finished Dead End today, by the way, and OH GOD. Oh gosh it was GREAT. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS but a certain character died and I honestly really hope they stay dead - they were one of the mainstays and I think more shows need to have the courage to kill off mainstays. I mean, they are going to stay dead because the show's been canceled (FUCK NETFLIX FUCK NETFLIX FUCK NETFLIX), but you're picking up what I'm putting down. You get it.
Finally, I would like to address the issue of my cat. My homunculus, if you will. I plucked her fresh from the earth like a well ripened vegetable several years ago and she has been a very important part of my life ever since; she's been with me through all my toughest days, she's cuddled countless fits of sadness away, she has allied herself with me and we stand against the world, she and I. I love my cat so much. SHOUT OUT TO MY FUCKING CAT!!!!!!!
I bring up my cat because I just had tea with her. Have you ever heard the word sublime? Do you know what it means? We sat there, the two of us - me on the balcony, her inside on the windowsill two feet away from my shoulder - we sat there, and the world quieted down so we could talk in peace. Actually, we didn't talk all that much at all. Neither of us said a single word. My tea tasted a little bit like pool water, but in a very soft way (I'm slightly biased, as I really really like the smell of chlorine). It doesn't matter what the tea tasted like. What matters is that the tea was there, and the three of us - me on the balcony, my cat inside on the windowsill two feet away from my shoulder, my tea in my lap - we sat there and the world slowed down for us. There was also some really pleasant wind. God was breathing on me, and they'd clearly taken a fresh-air-and-dry-concrete flavored mint this morning. Wish it was chlorine flavored. I really like the smell of chlorine.
Oh shit I have a blog now! Probably. We've already quite established that my grasp on the concept of a blog is tenuous at best and dangerously misinformed at most. I understand so little about the early internet that I psychically warp other people's understanding of it just by being near them, like a shitty magnetic field of shit. I'm going to swear a lot these first couple of entries because I thought swearing would send me to hell for the first 80% of my life and I think I've gotta make up for lost time now.
I don't think I consume enough media. Actually, I don't think I obsess over it enough. I used to do Warrior Cats roleplay on a dedicated discord server and the kind of brainrot I felt for those characters is something I still crave to this day, but I just can't get it out of a show or book or anything else. It's like I've developed a taste for blood! But only Warrior Cats roleplay flavored blood!
I am watching Dead End: Paranormal Park right now, and so far I'm loving it a LOT. The queer representation is kind of mind-bogglingly insane. It's really nice to hear a character say the word binder on screen, out loud. I'm kind of obsessed with Fingers, the hand-shaped angel from Season 2 (which I just began). Such an awesome character design, and his VOICE! I mean, it's just a regular English guy voice, but for some reason it really tickles me. He's dethroned Hox as my favorite Dead End character.
I've also had Kane Pixels' The Oldest View cooking in the back of my mind ever since Wendigoon uploaded that analysis of the series - A Monster of Memory, it was called, or something like that. What a concept! What an execution! Maybe I'll talk about it more at length later, but The Oldest View latches on to such a specific fear - the fear of forgetting and being forgotten by and as a society - and it gives that fear a face!!! Watch the video. It'll make you feel a whole lot of something.
No actually, you should totally watch it dude
Besides that, I'm gonna have an interview with the administration of my local planetarium tomorrow. Fingers crossed, wires crossed, etc. Might lose my mind or something I dunno. Super exciting though! It's like I'm getting my foot in the door of astronomy! Ohhhh, astronomy, my aloof love, please let me in. I brought you flowers and chocolates.
Several hours later addendum: people REALLY wanna hang out with me! All of my friends are extroverts and I am the least social consciousness on this flat earth!!! I LOVE these people but golly I sure do wish I could hit them with the temporarily forget I exist ray every once in a while (and then hit them with it again to make them remember because I would miss them very much).
Even more hours later addendum: ohhhhh, astronomy, you stand outside my window and torment me. You are so cold. Just like the air outside. Which is why I'm not going out there with you. It's two AM and the skies are clear I could've totally taken the telescope out but oh, you are so cold, so cold to me. . .